Nassau, Bahamas

This term our staff went on a mission trip of a lifetime, to our Pastor's home town of Nassau, Bahamas. We worked sunrise to sunset at the Adventure Learning Centre in Nassau. And...We dug holes. Not just any holes, but post holes through the layers and layers of Bahamian rock to set new fence posts. At first.. we spent a couple hours trying to hack and pick our way through the layers of pure stone. But we made it, by the grace of God, and finished building an entire horse pen and goat pen fence; replacing all the old posts, the gate, and the wire. It was hard manual labor, and one of the hardest working weeks here at Patmos. I primed and painted all day, and even painted a barn!

And in the midst of all of this, I turned 22!!

April was a good month to remember, and it was a complete blessing for me to work so hard in the Bahamas, and still find a night to go celebrate my birthday. We went to Paradise Island, and walked through the aquariums at the Atlantis resorts. It was such an amazing time, my first time to the islands, and looking back... I can't imagine being anywhere else but a place like the Bahamas after examining what my year has been like!

Since leaving Oregon, I've now lived in Campo Mourao, Brasil... Jacmel, Haiti.. Del Rey Beach, Florida, Pompano Beach, Florida.. mission trip to Nassau, Bahamas, and tentative summer plans to North Africa.

The Lord has blessed me immensely, with wonderful friends, and a new Floridian family. I've never known so much love, and I've never experience God's love so much as I have this year. My prayer has been to the Lord "I want to know you, and be known." And he has answered each and every day. Praise Him. 

Thoughts from Tozer

 "But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption— that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:30-31

From  The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer

"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you." -Saint Augustine

"The great saint states her in a few words the origin and interior history of the human race. God made us for Himself- this is the only explanation that satisfies the heart of a thinking man, whatever his wild reason may say.

I speak to thirsty hearts whose longings have been awakened by the touch of God within them, and such as they need no reason proof. Their restless hearts furnish all the proof they need.

God formed us for His pleasure."

So why then do bad things happen to good people? The answer is.. there are no good people, that question doesn't actually make sense. Are you referring to appearance? Or works? Or what this person does or does not do? Or does in moderation? Because the thing is we are all on the same level- we are all sinners. No one is exempt from the fall of our sinfulness, and we are all equally in need and desperate for the redemptive love of Christ. Tozer writes..

"The whole work of God in redemption is to undo the tragic effects of that foul revolt [the fall], and to bring us back again into right and eternal relationship with himself. God wills that we should push on into His presence and live our whole life there. 

The world is perishing for  lack of the knowledge of God and the Church is famishing for want of His presence. Sin has so clouded the lenses of our hearts that we cannot see that other reality, the City of God, shining around us.

God is forever seeking to speak Himself out to His creation. The whole Bible supports this idea. God is speaking. Not God spoke, but God is speaking. He is by His nature, continuously articulate. He fills the world with His speaking voice. He spoke a book and lives in His spoken words. The Word of God affects the hearts of all men as light in the soul. In the hearts of all men the light shines, the Word sounds, and there is no escaping them. It is wisdom for us to listen.

God's redemptive revelation in Scripture is necessary to saving faith and peace with God. Faith in a risen Savior is necessary if the vague stirrings toward immortality are to God, and faith is the gaze of the soul upon a saving God."

Cartagena, Colombia

SOARING over the Caribbean coast of South America, Patmos: Reality Discipleship landed in the Spanish colonial city of Cartagena, Colombia last month for their term’s week-long mission trip. Flying non-stop from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, forty staff and students touched-down in the strikingly colorful and flavorful colonial city of Cartagena March 12^th-19^th to serve in the name of Jesus.

 Colombians are known for their rich cultural heritage, established over centuries of Colonial political and social development. However, remnants of past political corruption and drug driven economy has left homes broken and in deep need for righteousness, redemption, and a hopeful message of a Savior. Ready and willing to combat patterns of global poverty and hopelessness, Patmos sent out a troop of young students to bring the hope of Jesus Christ to the people of Cartagena, armed with the gospel and fresh willing hearts. Using skits, bible programs, evangelism, and even soccer; Patmos students engaged the people of Cartagena in the discussion and dialogue of a lifetime; ‘Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? Would you like to?’

Spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ in South America fueled and energized the students as many experienced for the first time cross-cultural ministry and missions. Using Spanish translators, students boldly proclaimed the truth of the Gospel night and day, serving the people in and around their homes, in markets, and in the city. Ashley Manning shares about the receptiveness of Cartagena to the Gospel, “The majority of people were super open, really receptive. They never got rude or angry when confronting them. They really enjoyed it. Some wanted to pursue talking even more about us sharing the gospel with them. It was more of an encouragement to a lot of us. It’s not like America, that’s for sure.” Many lives were saved as a result of street evangelism and outreach, as well as the youth and children receiving the love of Christ through Vacation Bible School and hosting local activities and games. Greycy, a Patmos student and native Spanish speaker beamed about how the children touched her life, and helped change her heart towards a calling filled with serving children in ministry. “The biggest impact was definitely the kids. They would grab onto one person and wouldn’t let go! They wanted us to come back every time that week. They loved the fact they could play soccer with us, or that they just felt loved. They were connecting so well with us.” Colombia was mightily touched by the Good News brought by Patmos to the locals of Cartagena, Tierra Bomba and Trabaco. Students were overwhelmed by what they saw, smelled, tasted, and experienced a place so different than the comforts of home.

They brought light and truth to a place internationally recognized for producing a sinister commodity and trade; people. Patmos has dedicated much time and energy into prayerfully counteracting the issue of trafficking and human enslavement. Colombia is a nation infamous for this repulsive growth of human commodity, as trafficking continually targets women and children in the cities of Colombia. Patmos students were in shock of the promiscuity and sexual exploitation flaunted before their eyes, but remained steadfast in delivering the message of redemption even despite the obvious distraction of sin. Colombia worked in the heart of Patmos 9 in sharpening and challenging their boldness of faith, servitude, and love. Cartagena was an unforgettable experience that changed the perspective many students once held of the world, the students realized how much they really have to give. More than time or possessions, their hearts or their love, Patmos 9 gave all they had into proclaiming the name of Jesus to the nations, fearlessly taking the truth and partnering with local believers to change lives and filling those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. 

A day in the life..

"My heart is overflowing with a good theme;
I recite my composition concerning the King;
My tongue is the pen of a ready writer."
Psalm 45:1


This week I purposed to re-memorize the Beatitudes, or the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter 5. Not on my own accord.. it was definitely required of me.. so that makes me a let less holy than it appears! But in doing so, and writing more deeply the Law of the Lord in my heart... I just cannot believe the depth of the faithfulness of my God and how in walking in the assurance of His faithfulness, He anchors me.


 "and  that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— ¹⁹ to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19


This is a tough week we are walking through at Patmos, and as I see the students going through the lessons and the teachings, I myself am continually being convicted to change me life right along side them! It's been an incredible month already, and I'm learning in a whole new depth the greatness of my God, and how I am His. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, the pressure of the world begins to lift, and it begins to fade away; the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 John 2:16). I'm continually fighting my flesh and my worldly desires, but as I fall more and more in love with my Savior, my devotion becomes stronger, and by the spirit I can become a conqueror and victor in His name. I may be weak, but His spirit is strong in me. I may fail and fall short, and mess up, and make mistakes.. "Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:27




I am filled with these promises of Christ. And I love him dearly. We will be walking through the awareness of the persecuted Church in the world, and the persecution of Christians in many parts of the world. We are also preparing for a trip to South America, so I pray that this will run smoothly and successfully. What an incredible time of growth it has been for me, and the Lord himself rebuked me mightily last week.. which has proven to be a very effective refining moment in my walk. Love Him. :) Man, the day in the life of a bondservant of Christ.

The Great Frontier

I know it has been a very long time, and I’ve definitely felt a little conviction that I haven’t been sharing enough of the goodness of my God in my life.  But here I am, back at Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, working for Patmos: Reality Discipleship. I’m currently on the campus with the students; I live with them here in one of the most beautiful and blessed locations in all of South Florida.  We’ve been in the program this term for 3 weeks now, and already the Lord is revealing Himself to me in new and beautiful ways.

He is teaching me to desire the freedom, love the purity and maintain a healthy fear of God and His law. Love the commandment? Love His judgments? Pslam 119 is a powerful psalm on the ‘excellencies of the word of God’. It is written in 119:25, “ My soul clings to dust, revive me according to your word.” The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul (Psalm 19:7), the depth and life found in the Law of God is to bring His people nourishment, life, and freedom. Only upon studying His Word can we add to our faith, and fulfill our need to know God more than the day before. The Word of God; the bible is a great frontier, and I’m learning about how to study, interpret, and know it. “Your word I have hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11. Knowing and respecting the authority of the Word of God has brought me greater understanding and security in knowing God, serving God, and respecting God.

So I’ve been learning about the freedom in life that actually comes when we as followers pursue honoring the Law of the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength! What happens when you are given a command? A rule? A ‘requirement’? I know I used to rebel and disrespect rules and regulations, what’s it matter if this is ‘prohibited’ here, or ‘unlawful’ there? I had no conscience towards God, no conviction to follow authority, and I disregarded requirements of the authority over me. (Police, state, school or university, etc.) But now, I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind, in a way that compels me to love, honor, and respect the Law, because I serve, honor, and respect that Law of God. I am following His authority and His foundations for living a righteous life, so I should be pouring out faithfulness and integrity in following the authority in and around my life. Godly, or ungodly.

“Open my eyes, that I may see

            Wondrous things from Your law.

I am a stranger in the earth;

            Do not hide your commandments from me.

My Soul breaks with longing,

            For Your judgments at all times”       

Psalm 119:18-20

When we chose to delight in the freedom set by the commands of the Lord, we can delight to honor them in every aspect of our lives. Our desire to fulfill His statutes, His law, His testimony, and His judgments should compel us to honor eachother and the authority set before us, because we are entrusted with fulfilling the commandment of the greatest authority. I’ve been challenged with this change of heart towards disregarding the unfair, the cruel, or just annoying regulations over me as a student or citizen, or even just a driver. Instead, there is freedom in understanding the

“The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul;

The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;

The statues of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;

The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;

The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever,

The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.” 

Psalm 19:7-9

There is is! The truth behind the Law of the Lord! He is revealing me the greater depth behind following hard after Him, and I’m growing in my desire to follow after Him! I want to submit to His authority, and I want to be filled with readiness and swiftness to pursue His commandments. When we desire to fulfill the Law its incredible how much easier it becomes, and it penetrates your heart and your submission to authority becomes easier to do. I love the Lord because His word is such a great frontier, and I want so badly to know Him more, know His word, and know that He is God.

“Your word is a lamp to my feet

And a light to my path.

I have sworn and confirmed

That I will keep your judgements” 

Psalm 119:105-106

some more of Ayiti

Me with the youngest girl at the orphanage I could find

Lynda :)

Valentina

Outside of  school

Entrance of  girls' orphanage

The extent of the United Nation's presence in Haiti. They are also very aggressive drivers

Driving by some locals!

You're not Haitian until you have a digicel cellphone

And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is in the Lord." Jer. 17:7




It's been a difficult transition coming back to Oregon, to say the least. Yet again I feel as though I'm just another homeless traveler, enjoying a very damp and rainy visitation to the Pacific northwest for the holidays. I didn't know that I grew so accustomed to the tropical heat and humidity of south Florida and Haiti these past months, so I find myself in a state of shock of the contrasting dreariness of home in comparison. I love Oregon. It's not like the past 6 months of irrevocably erased the past 20 years of my life in this state. It's not as though I'm left in a complete disorientating state of culture shock. I just.. moved on. My heart and my desire is to be back in south Florida, near the beach and under the palm trees, near Miami, one of the most international cities in the world, and my wonderful church; Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale. It's not as though I associate everything as sugar and spice and everything nice with Florida... and Oregon a dark solemn raincloud. I just feel like that's where I am supposed to be, that's where I am indeed going, that's the community and the place that I will return to. So I find myself in a weird temporary middle ground of waiting and preparing to return to Florida to intern, and to remain unemployed and carless at my house in Salem for 5 more weeks.

So.. this predicament can either drive me to madness where I can break all the umbrellas I can find in just plain rebellion for this murky puddle of a place.. or I can seek the discernment and wisdom of why the Lord has me here until I go back to Fort Lauderdale. Why I was taken out of Haiti so suddenly, and how will I react when plans don't pan out in my favor.

HOPE. This is what the Lord is reminding me of. I don't need to look towards something in my future to grant my my contentment an satisfaction. This means not putting my hope in returning to a specific place, to a certain job, a special person, or to whatever it may be for each one of us. MY hope and my affections can only be placed in the Lord himself. So it looks different to live a hope-filled life in the Lord and HIS plan, than it is to hope in my own future, my own goals, my own expectations.

 I am a selfish woman. I want to see the world, and travel, and spend time in strange places, with exotic sights and smells, with exotic people and food. However, did I really consider all the people I love I left behind here in Oregon for the 6 months I was galavanting around? And yet I'm irritated because I'm not anywhere else, now. How disappointed the highest King must be of me that I overlook the wonderful treasures I had received earlier, and complain that I'm not receiving any now.  As if I deserve to receive an endless supply of what I want for myself, every day of the year. I'm selfish. I wonder how often I pray for things for myself and my future.. and forget Katie's life isn't just to serve Katie. My life must serve all my friends, and especially my family. So when Katie wonders why she has to be 'miserable' in Salem for just a month, don't you think it's a possibility my life affects and interferes with others.. so I'm here for a month just to do something for someone else. My life isn't about just me.. the world I live in isn't dedicated to just my dreams and desires. We forget how essential we all are in each other's lives.. in interceding and interacting.. in growing and sharpening, and even blessing and serving one another. We are all deeply connected to one another and yet I can't see past my own selfish vision of what I should be doing instead of being here to accept and initiate the reason why the Lord has brought me here.

 Hope. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast (Heb 6:19). This hope in the Lord is our anchor in our faith and trust that He is so sovreign and so in charge. When my hope is in the Lord, I can rest assure that He knew what i would experience in Haiti, that I would have to return home, that I would finally catch up with all my friends and see my family, and be here for the holiday season. And because I look to Him alone for my satisfaction, I will NOT place my contentment on material, changeable, temporary, or worldly things. My joy will not be circumstantial, and it cannot be. My pleasure is in serving the God most high, whether I'm in Oregon, in Florida, in Brazil or Haiti. So I accept my God's challenge to refine this aspect of my faith; is my Hope in the Lord himself, or is my hope in what the Lord will give me. I can rest assure that my confidence is in Christ, and I will praise Him no matter my circumstances, no matter my condition, although I need major improvement. For He alone is our peace, says Eph. 1:14, in Him alone we will achieve that rest. So me reacting to the Lord's undoubtable sovereign plan to spend 6 weeks in Oregon should solely illicit a response and attitude of complete thanksgiving, praising His name that He alone is the author of my story, and I don't quite have the authority to object to sudden plot changes. Besides, I enjoy cliff-hangers, and the suspense of the unknown and the constant twisting and turning of a good story. Why should my life then be dull and predictable?

So are you reacting to the conditions of your life with thanksgiving, or  asking the Lord for discernment on why He has you right where you're at? Are you focusing your life on yourself, when you could actually be exactly where you are... just to witness, disciple, and serve the people around you? Are you misplacing your hope, and counting on a new job.. a new school.. a new house.. or new boyfriend to fulfill a dissatisfaction your have in your heart? Our hope can only be placed in Jesus Christ, and  I know my life has dramatically displayed His faithfulness, His sovereignty, his peace, and His blessings. I'm sure every one of us will reap a beautiful harvest when our Hope is placed in the correct place.


Eph 1:17-19
"that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power"